Creator of Humorous Fake Steve Jobs Blog Calls New iPhone and Apple "Boring"

[dgstorm]

When should a company start thinking it might be in trouble? Your stock is through the roof. Your products are selling like hotcakes, and the newest one will likely shatter old/all sales records. You just scored a big legal victory against a worthy competitor in court. How on Earth could anything be wrong? Why would you ever think that?

Perhaps if one of your biggest fans suddenly starts calling you out as being "boring" it should be a wake-up call. That's exactly what just happened to Apple. Dan Lyons, just wrote an editorial today regarding the launch of the iPhone 5 and Apple in general. In that editorial he had several choice things to say about the direction of the company. In it he called the iPhone 5 boring, and even said that the company's former visionary CEO has been replaced by a number cruncher.

So, why should we care what Mr. Lyons had to say? Dan Lyons is a Newsweek editor and he also happens to be the same person that once operated the Fake Steve Jobs Blog. This was a humorous blog that was designed to pay tribute to Steve Jobs and Apple, and it was fairly influential for a while. Mr. Lyons eventually took the blog down out of respect for Steve Jobs once it was found out that he was sick. If you have ever read any of the blog, it was obvious that he had a deep respect and affection for Steve Jobs and the technical innovations he believed that Apple pioneered.

And now, he is obviously unhappy with how things are progressing over at Apple. Here's a few choice chunks of his editorial to give you the gist of what he thinks. Feel free to check out the whole thing at the source link below.

Now, having had two years to plot and scheme, Apple's renowned designer Jonathan Ive has replaced the tiny 3.5in (8.9cm) screen with a slightly-less-tiny 4in (10.2cm) screen? Wow. Knock me over with a feather. What do you do with the rest of your time, Jony?

This is what happens when a company is too cheap to invest in research and development. Did you know that Apple spends far less on R&D than any of its rivals - a paltry 2% of revenues, versus 14% for Google and Microsoft?

No wonder the Android platform, where new models appear every week, now represents 68% of the smartphone market, up from 47% a year ago, while Apple slid to 17% over the same period.

In case you're bad at maths, let me work that out for you: Android's market share is now four times that of Apple. Four times!

Worse, despite all its bluster about innovation, Apple has become a copycat, and not even a good one. Why is Apple making the iPhone bigger? To keep up with the top Android phones. Phones that, mind you, Apple fanboys ridiculed at first...

Apple got where it was by taking bold risks. Now it has become a company that copies others and plays it safe.

A company that once was run by a product visionary now is run by a number-cruncher - chief executive Tim Cook, whose claim to fame involves running an efficient supply chain and beating ever lower prices out of Asian subcontractors and component suppliers.

To use a car analogy, six years ago the iPhone was like a sexy new flagship model from BMW or Porsche. Today it's a Toyota Camry. Safe, reliable, boring. The car your mom drives. The car that's so popular that its maker doesn't dare mess with the formula.

The big $1bn (£650m) patent "victory" over Samsung made Apple look like a bully, and also raised awareness of how good Samsung's latest products are.

Apple seems less interested in blowing people away than it is in milking profit out of the existing lineup. At this Cook is doing marvellously well...

That's great for Apple's shareholders. But for customers, who cares? In terms of products, Apple has become the one thing it should never be. Apple has become boring.

Somewhere up there, I can hear Steve screaming.

It certainly seems like the last two iPhones are simply playing catch-up to Android now. Additionally, Apple is catching a ton of negative press lately. What do you guys think? Could the iPhone 5 be the last big hurrah of the iPhone line? Did Apple "jump the shark"?

Source: BBC

 

[Lanos4Sale]

I wondered how long after the iPhone 5 announcement we'd have to wait for your Apple bashing to start…

With absolutely no connection to Android or tablets (that was the URL last time I checked) you've quoted ad nauseam from a self-confessed fake Steve Jobs who was commenting on the failure of the new iPhone before it was even announced! That's right, if you actually took the time and effort to read the article you've quoted you'd see that he starts off with "Apple unveils the latest version of its iPhone this Wednesday." (Note the tense.) He goes on to say "word is it'll look a lot like the last two versions of the iPhone." (He doesn't know what it'll look like and bases his whole argument on rumours because it hasn't been announced yet.)

You have to ask yourself what it is you hate about Apple so much that you constantly write against them quoting whoever and whatever seems to support your hate? You're not supporting Android by trying to belittle its competition.

If you'd tried harder to bash Apple you could have found that the new iPod Nano looks very similar to the Nokia Lumia.

Reddit says new Apple iPod Nano looks like Nokia Lumia. Twitter too. : My Nokia Blog

This time, if you do your homework, you could also find that the Nokia Lumia was said to take design cues from a previous iPod Nano.

--

Any sites out there with a bit more focus on facts about Android tablets?

 

[Tom T]

Honestly, with Apple trying to sue Android out of existence and deny us our Much loved devices a little anti-Apple sentiment should understood.

 

[Lanos4Sale]

It's not a little anti-Apple sentiment though is it.

 

[Tom T]

For some it may be just the right amount. I happen to have a 4th gen ipod touch, which I use strictly for music, and I believe there is no better player out there. For the most part I have been vastly amused by the back and forth rhetoric between Apple fans and Android fans, and I also appreciate how dedicated Android tablet users are to their devices because it gives me confidence companies will continue to innovate and allow us choices outside the main stream I. E. Apple products. If it wasn't for this dedicated bunch the Samsung Galaxy Note 10.1 I love would never been more than a concept.

Sent from my Gibson using Tapatalk for Heavy Metal

 

[MA83]

I wondered how long after the iPhone 5 announcement we'd have to wait for your Apple bashing to start…

With absolutely no connection to Android or tablets (that was the URL last time I checked) you've quoted ad nauseam from a self-confessed fake Steve Jobs who was commenting on the failure of the new iPhone before it was even announced! That's right, if you actually took the time and effort to read the article you've quoted you'd see that he starts off with "Apple unveils the latest version of its iPhone this Wednesday." (Note the tense.) He goes on to say "word is it'll look a lot like the last two versions of the iPhone." (He doesn't know what it'll look like and bases his whole argument on rumours because it hasn't been announced yet.)

You have to ask yourself what it is you hate about Apple so much that you constantly write against them quoting whoever and whatever seems to support your hate? You're not supporting Android by trying to belittle its competition.

If you'd tried harder to bash Apple you could have found that the new iPod Nano looks very similar to the Nokia Lumia.

Reddit says new Apple iPod Nano looks like Nokia Lumia. Twitter too. : My Nokia Blog

This time, if you do your homework, you could also find that the Nokia Lumia was said to take design cues from a previous iPod Nano.

--

Any sites out there with a bit more focus on facts about Android tablets?

Thanks for showing us that yet again Apple is living up to it's nickname of CRAPPLE! BTW, if you dislike DG's articles so much why even bother read or comment? Why even stay on this site?

 

[Tom T]

It's not a little anti-Apple sentiment though is it.

Apparently not, but to be fair I do read the same type of things on Apple fan sites. I just happen to sympathize with the Android crowd for own self serving reasons.

Sent from my Gibson using Tapatalk for Heavy Metal

 

[Lanos4Sale]

I only take issue when people have to resort to half truths and juvenile reporting to try to make a point.

Why can't I own both iOS and Android devices without having to read fanboi commentary? I wouldn't put up with it from an Apple site either.

 

[Lanos4Sale]

Looks like I just got pwned!

"The latest and greatest Apple creation has been unleashed upon the world."
http://www.iphoneforums.net/forum/showthread.php?t=45853

"The new iPhone 5 hasn’t even been released yet and it is already envisioned to accomplish great things."
http://www.iphoneforums.net/forum/showthread.php?t=45679

Note the author…

 

[Tom T]

Playing both sides against the middle I guess, kind of like Bruce Willis in Last Man Standing.

Sent from my HP 200lx

 

[idontknow]

It seems like Apple is headed for the iphone 100 so if the Apple fans didn't get tired of Apple products after the iPhone 5, they might get tired at one point or another on the way to 100!:-D

 

[idontknow]

I actually found out why Apple sells do many IPhones........

 

[Tom T]

I actually found out why Apple sells do many IPhones........ YouTube Link: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Tcb3KrIl84k&feature=youtube_gdata_player

Not sure I follow this but I will give it a try.
Either the cost of ownership is so high they end up having to eat them or
They love their iPhones so Much that after attempting to be physical intimate they realize the only other way they can truly become one with their iPhone is to consume it
Basically both Scenarios fail and they are forced to purchase yet another i Phone but being completely unable to learn from the past they find themselves in the kitchen once again frying their iPhone, thinking this time it could work, maybe the first time they failed to use Virgin olive oil, believing that since their iPhone is Undoubtedly perfect the fault must be their own
This may actually have a happy ending, because although they are true believers and will never stop buying iPhones they may be forced to buy an Android phone to actually use outside the kitchen so they can share the best strategy for eventually becoming one with the iPhone.