Generally, the icon is a function of each application. Most applications place their menu icons either at the bottom of the screen or in the upper right hand corner as three horizontal slashes. I may not have understood your question completely but this is my attempt to help as best I can. I hope this helps.
Yeah, he is actually looking for the menu Icon, which is application specific and not on the home screen, that Button is for the app drawer if its still called that in Honeycomb....sometimes its so confusing since I'm using multiple Android devices with various versions of the OS. I even have an old Archos 5IT that's frozen on 1.6 Donut.
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I am also missing the menu button. You recommend using the Settings instead. How do I use Settings to do functions that require a menu button? For example I'm trying to copy PDF files from the DOwnload folder to another folder, also trying to add an icon to my home screen. Both seem to require use of the menu button according to documentation I find on the internet. I have a Galaxy Tab 2 10.1. There's also supposed to be a + button in the upper right corner of the home screen and that is also missing. Any help would be appreciated. I just bought this last week (9/2012).